I flipped back through my journal, and found this entry from October 8, 2012:
"It was the morning of October 6th that my whole world turned around. It was a little after ten and I was getting ready for work when my Dad called me on the phone. "Breanna," he said, "are you watching conference?" I told him that no, I was about to leave for work. The words my dad said next completely changed my life: "Breanna. The prophet just announced that....." he didn't even finish his sentence before I knew exactly what was happening. I just started sobbing! I was so completely overwhelmed. In that single moment, God answered every one of my prayers, and suddenly everything made so much sense. I was late for work that day, I had to run to the TV and rewind the broadcast and watch it for myself. As I listened to the prophet announce this wonderful revelation- that sisters could now serve missions at age nineteen- I felt so much peace and so much joy. This has been Heavenly Father's plan for me all along. I know that! He's heard my prayers, He knows my heart and knows me better than I even know myself. I feel like everything has lead me to right where I am now... the choices I've made, the experiences that I've had, the paths I've taken, the mistakes I've made and all the lessons that I've learned. God has been shaping me this whole time, He's made me who I am so that I can be the missionary He needs me to be. And right now, I'm ready to step up and answer this call. I'm going to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. And honestly, there is a part of my heart, a piece of my soul, that knew this all along. I didn't know that I knew it, but I knew it. I'm going on a mission! And I am SO excited. God hears and answers our prayers, sometimes in the most beautifully unexpected ways.He loves each and every one of us and he knows us individually.I have a testimony of that and I can't wait to go and share it!"
It's been exactly six months today since I wrote that in my journal. And what an incredible six months its been! I have NEVER been happier. As I've been preparing to serve a mission my testimony has continued to grow every single day. And as my testimony and love for the gospel have grown, so has my desire to share it.
Now my bags are all packed! I'm ready to report to the MTC this Wednesday. I can't wait to put on my name tag and join the other thousands of missionaries dedicating their lives to this great work. I don't know exactly what I should expect, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. I'm about to say goodbye to my family and my friends and everything that's familiar. I'm about to leave everything behind. I'm about to embark on a journey with people I've never met, to places I've never been, speaking a language that I can't even comprehend! There's so much I don't know... I don't know the names of the people I'll be living and working with every single day. I don't know what will happen to my hair in 100% humidity. I don't know how people will react when I try to share a Book of Mormon. I don't know how to pronounce the names of the cities where I'll be living. I don't know how good liver paste sandwiches taste.... There is SO much I don't know! But the only thing that matters is what I do know. I KNOW this church is true. I know it with all my heart. That's why I'm serving a mission. Because I know, without doubt, that its true. And I want other people to know it too. I'm definitely nervous, but I'm not afraid. The Lord is on my side. The most powerful, majestic, loving, incredible being in the entire universe is on my side! This is His work, and I feel SO blessed to be a part of it. I feel so honored to wear His name on my chest, so privileged to be His representative, so proud to be His witness, and so humbled to be an instrument in His hands.
2 Nephi 22:2-6
"Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid; for the Lord Jehova is my strength and my song; he also has become my salvation.
Therefore, with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation.
And in that day shall ye say: Praise the Lord, call upon his name, declare his doings among the people, make mention that his name is exalted.
Sing unto the Lord; for he hath done excellent things; this is known in all the earth.
Cry out and shout, thou inhabitant of Zion; for great is the Holy One of Israel in the midst of thee."